“To be very honest, everything is a little chaotic at the moment since a new aspect was introduced to my research thesis. I’m working on my thesis and reading articles all day, so I don’t have that much free-time. I’m not complaining though. In fact, I’m very happy because it’s like I’m in a movie – one in which the scientist is in a race against time, in a war against the menacing threat, and he or she is trying to understand and find a solution to the problem.
However, I feel a little lost lately. I came back to Paris, after spending 13 days in Lebanon, one day before they closed the borders. I’m not upset about being back in Paris, but with the repatriation of the Lebanese diaspora, I now realize that I don’t know when I could go back to Lebanon or when the borders will even be re-opened. My parents want me to come back now but I’m supposed to stay here until the end of May, so this bugs me a little.” – Dina Al Ahdab. (Paris, France)
Listening to Dina’s testimonial makes me think about all my friends who are living in some other part of the world. I have friends in Montreal, Los Angeles, New York, Paris, Limoges, Birmingham, and Milan.
Just a few days ago, my father and I were talking about my acceptance to Aix-Marseille University in Marseille, France. I was telling him about the differences in accommodation prices between Marseille and Paris since I’ve applied to both cities. After listening to me talk for what I believe were 20 minutes, my father lifted his head and asked me, “Do you want to travel and study abroad?” and I answered, “I don’t know, honestly.”
The thing is, both staying here in Lebanon and traveling are difficult with the current situation. Even after the world’s lock-down is put to an end, leaving is still a tough step to take since our economic situation here is falling apart and needs years to be fully pulled out from the ashes it has been rolling in for the last 30 years. I told him how hard both – the Thawra and the Coronavirus lock-down – were arduous for my friends who are abroad because they all want to be with their families during times of crisis and uncertainty, but something stepped in the way. I honestly cannot picture myself gone away from my family just yet, not when they all need me so much, and certainly not when I need them too.
But what Dina is going through also makes me think about how we plan something a certain way, but then something else just suddenly inserts itself in our lives, and so we immediately have to make changes to what we had meticulously schematized in our minds. What’s funny is that, as I was writing down that last thought, I realized that this is exactly how every day in my life goes. Very, very few are the times when my day goes as I had planned it.
To prove how true this last statement is, I’d like to share that I’ve recently begun using Microsoft To-Do in order to have a clearer view of what needs to be done during the day. When I first started using the app, I was very productive because it brought me satisfaction to cross as many things off my To-Do list as possible. The cute thing about this app is that the daily list of tasks is entitled “My Day” by default, so you can imagine how pleasing it was to have everything crossed off from “My Day”.
The past week or so (i.e. the unexpected factor that squeezed itself into my life) have been disastrous when it came to university work. In fact, if you’d like to laugh, I have been postponing studying my RNA viruses for what seems like an eternity now! Even the app keeps suggesting every day that I add “Study RNA viruses” to my list!
Furthermore, I help my family a lot. In normal circumstances, my parents are typically submerged in work. However, now that they’re both working from home, the tsunami of work has become much larger. Of course, when the demands are high, you usually need more than one person to complete the tasks. This is what happens every single day of my life; there’s always something that needs two people in order to be completed! Don’t get me wrong – I love to help my parents, and it brings me joy to know that they trust me to help them handle even the most critical of matters, but this is one of the main causes as to why no day ever fully goes as planned.
What happened in those past 1-2 weeks is not something I’d like to talk or even think about, but just look at how a short-term wave of negativity (because I’ve been feeling down for no reason) and certain unforeseen incidents dragged my productivity to a near 0. Imagine then how bigger, unanticipated events like a revolution or a global pandemic could sabotage your life plans!
To conclude, I’d like to tell every person reading this that even if chaos seems to have conquered our lives, even if everything seems blurry, even if confusion is all you’ve been feeling, and even if all seems helpless at the moment, it’s going to be okay. It’s a matter of time, but eventually everything is going to be alright. This might be a very frail statement to make with everything happening in and outside Lebanon, but every time I feel anxious, I take a deep breath and repeat the sentence “It’s going to be okay” several times. Confusion and worry obstruct proper thinking, which in its turn creates more confusion and worry. Therefore, let us try to clear our minds to fairly identify what should be done next.
The people of Tripoli have decided that re-igniting the revolution is their best option in order to gain back all their rights and fight the corruption that has ridden them of adequate standard of living. All my hope and prayers go out to all the Lebanese people who thought it through and decided that revolting is much more important to get Lebanon out of the funk it currently resides in.
Also, on a simpler note, to every person who had already mapped his or her life for the next 2-5 years, but found himself or herself set off-track for one reason or another, I want to remind you not to fret. There’s an expression in Arabic that says, “لا تكرهوا شيء لعله خير لكم”, which translates to “Don’t hate on anything because maybe it’s for your own good”. The more I hear my parents say it, the more I believe in it.
Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay, I promise. And if it all becomes to much, like it is the case here, revolt.
Found a New Home 