It seems that we all had the ‘cool’ kids back in middle and high school; the ones who were always incredibly popular, who always wore the trendiest clothes, who were always the first to purchase the newest technology (back in middle school, it meant having a BlackBerry Curve).
The cool kids at school always wore Converse sneakers. Some even used to doodle on the white rubber semi-circle at the tip of the shoe – because it was cool. They wore wristbands and then started dyeing the tips of their hair a different color. They wore snap-backs and bandannas, threw off peace signs and gang hand signs in pictures, etc.
In high school, things got different. Most of the cool kids got into many relationships, got piercings and tattoos, rebelled against school rules that forbid hair-dyeing, piercings, thickly-grown beards and short skirts, showed off their newest phones, had undercuts, and the facts list on.
What unfailingly intrigued me about the cool kids was how they were their own kind of cool, in the sense that they took dope pictures, wrote captions that I found incomprehensible back then and did all their cool activities together. One of them had older sisters, so she was introduced to The Beatles, David Bowie, and other great rock artists at an early age, hence why all her MSN statuses were never ones I was familiar with.
I always had my own little group of friends, but I remember in middle school, I was eager to make new friends, so I began sitting with different groups – those friendships didn’t last long though.
What I recall vividly, however, is that there was continuous drama going on between the cool kids; there was frequently some sort of betrayal or conflict, so you’d see them siding with one another against a member of their clan. A few days or weeks later, you’d see the ‘BFF’ posts all over Facebook or MSN, and you’d see them laughing together at recess.
The cycle repeats.
In high school, the whole drama thing persisted, but a lot has changed. The kind of drama changed. Some really matured and understood who their real friends are, others didn’t. They started posting different kinds of pictures, some of them still used very intriguing captions, and yeah, well… you can see the full picture.
Of course, what I’m talking about may only represent a certain number of schools, but also globally represents our generation.
I admit that the cool kids always interested me, and a part of me somewhat wanted to be like them. I used to ask mom to buy me a pair of Converse sneakers every now-and-then. I’d ask my parents for new gadgets and different devices (iPod, music players, Nintendo, you name it) if it were possible. You think that material objects like that would bring you a sense of satisfaction and importance. Maybe they did, but temporarily.
Towards the end of middle school and in high school I went through an enthusiastic rock and metal phase (which persisted until my first year of college), so I continuously sought band merch stores, in hopes of buying band shirts, wearing them, and feeling cool among others. You will never understand the satisfaction of being the one who listens to lesser-known artists until you start repeatedly hearing, “Who are those?!” whenever someone sees your shirts or your tweets.
So, all in all, even if I generally was just myself around others, a part of me always wanted to blend in and be cool. If not with my school’s cool kids in particular, with the generation in general. So, of course, it started with the Converse sneakers. I wore those a lot.
While I personally never went out of my way to blend in, even if a little part of me tried to, a lot of people never wanted anything else but to be accepted, so they pretended to be someone they were not. And it’s only at some point that you realize you will never be one of the cool kids, but rather be the kind of cool that appeals to you…
Had you told 13-year-old me who took sunset pictures with her iPod that she will own a DSLR one day and take tons of pictures with it, she would have looked at you in awe. Had you told 15-year-old me that being cool does not revolve around band shirts or listening to unpopular artists, and that she will have an undying love for flowered shirts and indie music, she would have scoffed in your face. Had you told 16-year-old me working on high school MUN that her newly-made blog would bloom to this extent, and that she will be investing her time in blogging, journalism, and writing people’s stories, she would have looked at you in awe. Had you told 18-year-old me who was afraid of pursuing an education in French that it will be the best decision she will ever make, and that she will decide to study food science, she would have looked at you in awe. I don’t know about you, but I think I’m pretty awesome now.
I am so proud of every person who tried so hard to blend in but eventually decided to be un-apologetically themselves. Just like there is a made-up societal standard for beauty, there seems to be a made-up standard for ‘cool’ in school. But at some point one should realize that we cannot be copies of each other, or else the world would be incredibly boring.
So, if you’ve ever lived this, here’s a kind reminder:
Your worth is never based on the size of the crowd you’re surrounded by, the clothes you wear, the kinds of pictures you pose for, the places you go to, and/or the things you own. May you be surrounded by the most beautiful people who will love you for exactly who you are – your highs and your lows, your strengths and your weaknesses, your positives and your negatives. May you be unafraid of being yourself, of being what makes you feel good in your own skin, what makes you nod twice when you look at yourself in the mirror, what screams your own style and uniqueness, of doing what makes you – you. May you embrace the glorious and talented creation you are.
Let us be ourselves, unashamed.
Songs I listened to while writing this post:
- Fool’s Gold – S. Carey
- Great American Novel – Max Jury
- Invisible – Hunter Hayes
- Homesick – Dua Lipa
- Need the Sun to Break – James Bay
- More (acoustic) – Tyrone Wells
- Maybe It’s Time – Sixx:A.M.
- K. – Cigarettes After Sex
- Dancing Away – JPson
- almost home – mxmtoon
- my ted talk (acoustic) – mxmtoon
- cliché – mxmtoon
- Soulfight – The Revivalists
Found a New Home 