So. much. stuff. is. happening.
When I became an adult four years ago, I wish someone would have told me that it’ll be impossible to blog as frequently!
Oh, well. It’s alright. I sure want this post to be clear of negative energy because I have things I reaaally want to share!
Because of the life-threatening (yes, life-threatening) socio-economic crisis that Lebanon is going through, my university launched a fundraising campaign called Generation H.O.P.E, where “HOPE” is an acronym for “Help Others Pursue Education”.
I don’t mean to brag, but I very randomly pitched in that name during a last-minute, late-night Zoom meeting with the members of our university’s paper. The suggestion was jotted down with no indication about whether or not this name could be chosen. Fast forward a little to when our Editor-In-Chief tells me that this was the name that the university chose!
But, but, BUT there’s more than that. Last night was the launching ceremony, and guess who was the moderator? That’s right, me! It was such an incredible honor, and I’m genuinely proud of myself.
But EVEN MORE than that, the night before, I was on Pinterest when I opened my ‘Christianity’ board and saw this pin that says, “you are exactly where God wants you to be.” I thought about that sentence a lot, wrote it down on a small piece of paper, and stuck it to my laptop. I remember practicing my speech the next day, and repeating to myself, “You are exactly where God wants you to be.”
So, now we dive into this post’s theme which is my relationship with God. I have several things to talk about, the first one being the above sentence. Whether “where God wants me to be” was embodied in me being on stage, delivering a speech about hope, or whether it actually concerns where I am in life as a whole, I felt, with this sentence, that whatever it is in life that I am going through, it’s going to be fine. With it came a certain reassurance that there is no need to worry about messing up my speech or, on the bigger scale, about tragic conditions.
When your life’s going really well, when you’re crossing things off your bucket list, accomplishment after accomplishment, you might be grateful that God’s plan for you is to walk through a life that (to others) seems very smooth and easy. On the other hand, when you feel like you are not where you are supposed to be, when tragedies/negative events strike, and when it seems like you can’t catch a break, you might be wondering why God is putting you through so much since He supposedly loves you so much.
I invite you to read the information on this page. One thing that I’d like to quote from it, though, is this: “Unfortunately, we might not always know the reason “why.” But we can always draw faith and strength from remembering the things we do know.”
One of the topics I’ve discussed previously (from a personal point of view) was that feelings fluctuate way too many times in one day.
The other day I was having a chat with a friend of mine, and she evoked that our life with God consists of two spectrums that are parallel, both ranging from 0 to 100. The first is the spectrum of us wanting to reach the Truth (100) and the second is the spectrum where we actually do it (through our actions, thoughts, feelings, etc.). We are not necessarily at equal levels on both spectrums, but they go together. Her example stated that I could be at 100 on the first spectrum because I want to reach the Truth, but my efforts could be at a 70, noting that the value on the second spectrum is never constant. A negative act, a doubt, or any action can potentially set us back without changing our decision to attain the Truth. 100 being the whole Truth, we take a step closer to it with every little truth that unravels itself, so we are never set back on that spectrum.
I am trying my best to reach 100 on both spectrums, but most importantly, I am learning to accept that I cannot judge my relationship with God based on feelings and human senses (cf. 2 Corinthiants 5:7). I know some people who feel whole in Christ every minute of every day, who were able to get to 100 on both spectrums, and I aspire to be like that someday, and hopefully soon. Moreover, I often prayed to find strength to overcome the thoughts and/or emotions that can push me to do anything that could set me back on the second spectrum.
I watched an Instagram reel by Ariel Fitz-Patrick (@arielfitz.patrick) the other day, and in it she was imagining what it would be like if Heaven had a hotline and she were the receptionist. “I’ve never heard that one before, but I promise you that sin is covered. You are still loved by God, alright? No problem, my dear. Now, make good choices and don’t go seeing for yourself because Jesus has already seen it all. Trust me.”
I don’t know how you feel, but I’m feeling reassured! Love it, Ariel!
Something else I’d like to add is that, as odd as it may sound, the time when I feel most comfortable to talk to God is when I’m driving. Of course, I should be on a road that I know by heart (hence drive on it without putting in too much thought). I feel like my car, whether parked or in motion, is such a private space to have a conversation about anything with God and I can tell him what’s on my mind. It is unconventional, but I remember this passage in Norman Vincent Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking” when he took the train and then started praying for the farmer and for the lady handling the laundry on her balcony. You don’t need to be in a run-of-the-mill location to pray and talk to God, at least that’s what I understood from the last few times when I had a conversation with Him in the car.
The conclusion? Trust the process. Don’t compare your life to other people’s because the plan for each one of us is different. Seek to be a good person who abides by the values we were taught. Talk to God wherever you feel comfortable, and try to make it more frequent (baby steps, though!) Be patient because I promise things will get better.
May we live with God by Faith and not by feelings, today and every day!
Songs I listened to while writing this post:
- Soulfight – The Revivalists
- It Must Be Luck – Sons Of The East
- If You Only Knew – Shinedown
- Into The Sun – Sons Of The East
- Come Away – Sons Of The East
- The Way – Jeremy Camp
- Give Me Jesus – Jeremy Camp
- Strong Enough – Matthew West
- By Your Side – Tenth Avenue North
Found a New Home 